Time seems to unfold so fast
I thought I am still a cute little girl playing around
but today I see myself a young beautiful lad--
chasing after the dreams I've made in the Past.
My heart is bumping and Jumping!
God your Greatness in my life is so evident.
though there are flaws in me,
you are still there loving me unconditionally.
How can I ignore the love you've shown through the sunlight?
and your majesty through the sparks of a Starry night?
Can I neglect your lovely smile,
whenever I look in a crescent moon tonight?
Definitely I can't!
neglecting your beauty is killing me,
forgetting your greatness is drowning me
only your presence can satisfy me.
lover of my soul, how can I escape from your great love?
the love the world keeps looking for,
the love a young lady is anticipating for?
I can't help but to swim in your ocean of love!
you complete me! you satisfy me!
truly you have known me from the very start!
thanksgiving and praises all belongs to you---
Owner of the Ocean of Love.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Saturday, December 14, 2013
when everything seems so vague
did you ever came to the point that you wanna give up? quit? go back to your mother's womb again? or should I use this term SURRENDER.
problems are vital--- it constructs is to be a better one or destructs us until we never get up again on our feet. it is purely our choice on what outcome we wanted to happen.
recently I've encountered this life shaking problem. sounds exaggerated but for me it is. Education is somewhat my life after breathing and eating three times a day. to make this short it is my pride, my ego, my self- concept of who i really am. I'm not a great student but it is my passion to study and finally graduate to college.
Due to financial problem that was a result of our family problem I've Got to stop. yes, it means "don't go to school for this semester honey, stay inside the house and you may kill yourself if boredom strikes." my uncle abroad, my grandpa and even some of my relatives are hoping for me not to stop.
but it happened. I stopped. In two weeks I withdrew to the crowd i'm always with. my relatives are telling me that it's okay, some said "don't worry, it's not a race to rush" and what makes me terribly awful is when they say sorry because they cannot help me any longer.
at that time all i feel for myself is self-pity, awfulness, useless and a total fool. I said to myself, "if only I can be scholar maybe I am still going to school" or "if my father is responsible enough maybe today we are not experiencing this kind og drama" and something like those that I admit it sink through my head and pulling me downwards.
i cried a lot. if it could be measured i can accumulate 1 gallon. and my best friend who is at the same time my life coach and mentor said to me "God has something for you, I don't know why you stop but there is something God wants you to do or make it happen, I don't know. it think you must search it yourself"
those words we're piercing my heart and keep on asking God why. until I blame everything to everyone as there fault.I said to myself i don't deserve this kind of mess. i do well.
looking at that problem a month ago, it makes me cry again. but now it's not because of grief and self-pity but of thanksgiving. looking back to what had happen a month ago seems a blessings in disguise and now as I do my daily quiet time with God and ask God why do he let things happen that way, he replied in my heart, if you didn't stop you will not realize the problems you have. if you didn't stop you may not grow in me, you may not seek me more and probably you'll leave me in exchange of that education and those friends you have there. and I said, no God it will never be. but again he told me yes if I didn't stop you this time maybe next year you won't recognize me as your Lord.
as I am contemplating of these I remember a verse in Isaiah (55:8) and it says "for my thoughts are higher than your thoughts declares the Lord, Neither your ways my ways" it is not about our plan in our lives to fulfill but fulfilling God's plan and purpose to live in and doing it for his Glory. at first we may not understand but as the time goes by and heals the pierced heart he reveal his plan.
if not because of what had happen maybe today, i still compromise, if not maybe i still live double-minded. if it does not happen maybe God will only be next to my education.
when times seems too vague and unclear it is not ourselves to rely on but God and his purposes. his plans won't fail and his ways will always prevail. come to think of it, if this problem didn't occur i won't able to write this blog and testify again about God's steadfast love, that's how he loves us. he does not relent, he does not waver.
as i was thinking of it sensitively, problems arise due to conflict and in life, it often arise when we do things without the concerns of God. and even when we follow him and still problems occur all we can do is to trust unto him and stop leaning to our own abilities.
problems are vital--- it constructs is to be a better one or destructs us until we never get up again on our feet. it is purely our choice on what outcome we wanted to happen.
recently I've encountered this life shaking problem. sounds exaggerated but for me it is. Education is somewhat my life after breathing and eating three times a day. to make this short it is my pride, my ego, my self- concept of who i really am. I'm not a great student but it is my passion to study and finally graduate to college.
Due to financial problem that was a result of our family problem I've Got to stop. yes, it means "don't go to school for this semester honey, stay inside the house and you may kill yourself if boredom strikes." my uncle abroad, my grandpa and even some of my relatives are hoping for me not to stop.
but it happened. I stopped. In two weeks I withdrew to the crowd i'm always with. my relatives are telling me that it's okay, some said "don't worry, it's not a race to rush" and what makes me terribly awful is when they say sorry because they cannot help me any longer.
at that time all i feel for myself is self-pity, awfulness, useless and a total fool. I said to myself, "if only I can be scholar maybe I am still going to school" or "if my father is responsible enough maybe today we are not experiencing this kind og drama" and something like those that I admit it sink through my head and pulling me downwards.
i cried a lot. if it could be measured i can accumulate 1 gallon. and my best friend who is at the same time my life coach and mentor said to me "God has something for you, I don't know why you stop but there is something God wants you to do or make it happen, I don't know. it think you must search it yourself"
those words we're piercing my heart and keep on asking God why. until I blame everything to everyone as there fault.I said to myself i don't deserve this kind of mess. i do well.
looking at that problem a month ago, it makes me cry again. but now it's not because of grief and self-pity but of thanksgiving. looking back to what had happen a month ago seems a blessings in disguise and now as I do my daily quiet time with God and ask God why do he let things happen that way, he replied in my heart, if you didn't stop you will not realize the problems you have. if you didn't stop you may not grow in me, you may not seek me more and probably you'll leave me in exchange of that education and those friends you have there. and I said, no God it will never be. but again he told me yes if I didn't stop you this time maybe next year you won't recognize me as your Lord.
as I am contemplating of these I remember a verse in Isaiah (55:8) and it says "for my thoughts are higher than your thoughts declares the Lord, Neither your ways my ways" it is not about our plan in our lives to fulfill but fulfilling God's plan and purpose to live in and doing it for his Glory. at first we may not understand but as the time goes by and heals the pierced heart he reveal his plan.
if not because of what had happen maybe today, i still compromise, if not maybe i still live double-minded. if it does not happen maybe God will only be next to my education.
when times seems too vague and unclear it is not ourselves to rely on but God and his purposes. his plans won't fail and his ways will always prevail. come to think of it, if this problem didn't occur i won't able to write this blog and testify again about God's steadfast love, that's how he loves us. he does not relent, he does not waver.
as i was thinking of it sensitively, problems arise due to conflict and in life, it often arise when we do things without the concerns of God. and even when we follow him and still problems occur all we can do is to trust unto him and stop leaning to our own abilities.
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